The journey to healing from abuse is long and winding, yet often gifted with courage, clarity, and peace. Not My Circus details Delicia Niami’s story of survival from assault and finding resilience through self-acceptance, love, and advocacy. When Naimi survived rape as a teenager, the experience opened her eyes to biases against young women in the justice system. This pivotal moment in her life snowballed into encounters with drug abuse, betrayals, emotional pain, and even unimaginable loss. Before Niami found her life’s calling to become a staunch advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and survivors of trauma, her coming-of-age experiences taught important lessons in healing and forgiveness.

​Not My Circus is the latest installation in a series of memoirs by Niami, each focusing on a particular segment of her life. She shares lessons from the complexities of human relationships and personal struggles. While the author details the fun and raucous exploits as a young single person growing up in the 1980s, the narrative of healing stood out for me. Not My Circus is a compelling read because of the author’s unique storytelling style, even if the subject matter could be triggering to others. Niami’s use of dialogue enhances storytelling by authentically conveying emotions and tensions while also providing insights into personalities and dynamics. She tells of the experience in gritty detail, yet it is not cringy. Her telling of past trauma is raw and honest, full of heart. It is a testament to the impact of trauma on one’s present and future.

Another highlight of the book is how Niami found her bearings in LGBTQ+ politics and advocacy, sparked by struggles with identity, acceptance, and empowerment. As a lesbian, Niami details her interactions with LGBTQ+ communities at the height of the AIDS epidemic. She also details her observations of injustices faced by the LGBTQ+ community, encountering discrimination and societal stigma. This journey of self-discovery, resilience, and the need for equality and acceptance played a significant role in shaping the author’s passion for LGBTQ+ rights. She writes candidly about the faults in her relationships, challenging family dynamics, moments of self-doubt, and the often-elusive quest for self-compassion and self-acceptance.

The art of the memoir allows one to take an honest look at the past. This is not always done well because memories tend to gloss over the agonizing parts. Depending on the author’s intent, the story of transformation may seem linear. In Not My Circus, readers understand nothing is straightforward about the challenges of emotional turmoil and recovering from trauma. Niami was honest about the arduous process of overcoming emotional and mental health challenges to realize personal growth and well-being.

Reviewed by Maileen Hamto

When life throws you under the bus, how do you find the strength to stand back up?

In Not My Circus, the author shares her extraordinary story of resilience amidst unimaginable adversity. From drug abuse and sexual trauma to homicide, she recounts her harrowing coming-of-age experiences in gritty detail. This powerful memoir will take you on a rollercoaster ride through the author’s traumatic teenage and young adult years. You’ll venture into the vibrant nightlife of West Hollywood, with all its temptation and danger in the height of the AIDS epidemic. You’ll experience the terror of being raped and the frustration of seeking justice. But most importantly, you’ll witness the incredible courage and perseverance of a woman determined to heal.

While the events are chilling, the message is inspiring—no matter how much life tries to knock you down, you can choose to stand back up. Through the author’s journey of self-discovery, you’ll learn that true strength comes from within. Raw, real, and impossible to put down, Not My Circus is a testament to the human capacity for resilience. If you’re ready to be moved by one woman’s unbelievable story of finding light in the darkness, then this book is for you.

Not My Circus: Triumph Over Abuse, Trauma & Family Secrets – A Journey to Self-love, Pride and Remarkable Resilience is a work of non-fiction in the memoir, inspirational writing, and slice-of-life genres. It is best suited to mature adult readers owing to the potentially upsetting subject matter. In this harrowing and unfiltered tale of struggle penned by author Delicia Niami, the author recounts her journey of overcoming severe adversity, including drug abuse, sexual trauma, and homicide. The memoir delves into her tumultuous teenage and young adult years, highlighting the dangers of West Hollywood’s nightlife during the AIDS epidemic. Through a chilling yet inspiring narrative, Niami shows her resilience and determination to heal, ultimately discovering self-love and inner strength.

Author Delicia Niami has crafted a profoundly moving and intense memoir that is a difficult but deeply worthwhile read. I was immediately impressed by the confident narrative style, and Niami’s raw and honest portrayal of her traumatic past is both heartbreaking and inspiring with its vibrant and visceral wordplay. Her vivid descriptions of the challenges she faced, from the terror of sexual assault to the perilous nightlife of West Hollywood, drew me into her world and made me feel her pain and courage with every step as though I was hearing her speak in person. The narrative’s unflinching look at seeking justice for rape and the frustration it entails was particularly poignant, shedding light on the systemic issues survivors face. Niami’s incredible resilience and her journey toward healing and self-love were deeply empowering. Her story serves as a powerful reminder that, no matter how dire the circumstances, people can rise and reclaim their strength with the right motivation and belief in themselves. Overall, Not My Circus is an essential read for anyone seeking inspiration and hope in the face of adversity.

Not My Circus: Triumph Over Abuse, Trauma, & Family Secrets by Delicia Niami is the second installment of a planned three-volume memoir of her challenging life. Delicia was abused sexually, physically, and emotionally as a young girl. As she navigated her teenage and young adult years, her earnest desire was to get away from her Californian upbringing and explore not only the world but also herself. After saving enough money, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery in Europe, eventually ending up in Switzerland where she finds peace, acceptance, and love from her new friends. Eventually, though, homesickness will send her back to California and a reunion with her beloved mother. Immersing herself in the hedonistic lifestyle of Hollywood at the height of the AIDs epidemic, she finds love, acceptance, and heartbreaking loss as she attempts to deal with rape, the murder of her dear mother, and a debilitating mystery disease that leaves her constantly wracked with pain.

Not My Circus is raw, tough, gritty, and at times, intensely personal yet author Delicia Niami is prepared to open herself completely, honestly, and fearlessly to scrutiny and introspection. The author holds nothing back in her recounting of these tumultuous days and it is a credit to her resilience and spirit that she was not only able to survive her experiences but that she can be an inspiration to readers everywhere who are facing trials and demons. I was initially stunned at the naiveté she so often displayed on her overseas excursions as she frequently put herself in the path of potential danger. However, it became quickly apparent that despite her harrowing childhood, she was still extremely open to seeing the best in people and would rather give them the benefit of the doubt than think the worst of them. It was this openness undoubtedly that led her to develop enduring friendships and relationships wherever she went. Her determination to see justice served on her mother’s murderer was just another example of her doggedness and relentless search for what was right. The overlying theme of this story is undoubtedly the triumph of the human spirit over intense adversity, and the author displays this on many occasions. Her illness alone would have been enough to have flattened most people but somehow she always found the strength to rise one more time and carry on with life. This is an inspiring read and a story that will linger long in my memory. I highly recommend this book and look forward to the next chapter of this gutsy woman’s life.

Not My Circus is Delicia Niami’s second memoir, and I understand there is a third to follow. This book relates to her time in her mid-teens when she was raped on her way home from partying one night. Her visit to report the incident comes to nothing, and, immediately after her graduation from high school, she moves out into a place of her own. She moves many times in the course of the book, but at every turn, fate takes a hand, and her plans are derailed. If it can go wrong, it does go wrong. The cards dealt to Delicia are almost unbelievable. She loses several jobs, her health declines, friends she trusts betray her, and her family makes unreasonable demands on her. She is faced with drugs, alcohol, and financial problems, and from what she shares with us, time after time there are unforeseen and impossible obstacles in the way. Only her resilience and courage help her to survive.

As I turned the pages, I was appalled at the problems Delicia Niami had to face. I could only gasp at the courage and determination she showed not only in surviving but in helping others to survive as well. While Not My Circus is an easy read as it is so well written, the content requires strength from the reader. How can any one person cope with not only her own problems but those of friends and family as well? I was so impressed by the lack of self-pity from the author, and her strength shines through on every page. So many events were beyond her control, and how she copes is a lesson to so many of us who will never face the difficult situations that crop up one after the other. This is a work of bravery; not only the tale of her life but the courage to share her story with the public worldwide. It is a testament to the survival of the human spirit. I also liked the photographs included at the beginning of the chapters as they enhance the narrative and help the reader connect with the author.

Like most things in this world, life itself is a mystery. We go through experiences without fully grasping their significance in our lives. Yet, their effects, often etched deep into our subconscious, play a huge role not only in shaping our perception of the world but also in how we interact with it. Being an LBTQ+ advocate, Delicia Niami recounts her experiences transitioning into adulthood in the 1980s and 90s as a lesbian, and daughter to a single mother. From moving out of her mother’s house after graduation from high school to traveling around Europe, and joining the University of California, Santa Cruz, while battling Crohn’s disease, Delicia spares no detail in her memoir Not My Circus. Open a copy to find out more.

Delicia Niami’s memoir Not My Circus is a must-read for lovers of non-fiction grief/hardship books with a historical and dramatic appeal. Niami’s raw, down-to-earth, and uncensored style of writing offers a connection to her experiences. I was given a glimpse into the tangled emotional space of a victim of child molestation, rape, childhood trauma, abandonment, emotional abuse, and a survivor of Crohn’s disease. Reading this book felt like going on a wild rollercoaster ride of emotions. The evocative depictions of the towns she has traveled to, alongside the richly culturally nuanced insights of the places, especially in Europe, had me feeling like I was next to her touring the amazing destinations. I have deep gratitude for Delicia for sharing this unique story of part of her life. This book brilliantly captures the power, emotional, and situational dynamics at play between the abuser and victim, raising awareness about the topic of abuse, and at the same time equipping the vulnerable with the courage and sound judgment to deal with or avoid abusive experiences.

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Delicia Niami’s inspiring memoir, Not My Circus, is book two in the Resilient AF series. Despite adversity, Delicia shares her extraordinary story of being a survivor of sexual trauma through her teenage and young adult years. In this memoir about rape, sexual abuse, debilitating health issues, murder, and justice, we are taken on a harrowing roller coaster ride of experiences as a lesbian confronting challenges of sexuality, self-love, and acceptance. Despite the grim details provided, Delicia remains a strong woman determined to overcome trauma and see the light in the darkness. The reunification of Delicia’s siblings and her close friendships and strong bonds sustain her through some testing times. She remains resilient and perseveres through life’s challenges by accepting and embracing her weaknesses. This is a heartwarming account of Delicia Niami’s experience as an LGBTQ+ advocate.

A powerful and uplifting memoir about Delicia Niami’s struggles with sexuality and self-acceptance, Not My Circus will inspire readers and evoke empathy for her hardships while admiring her courage and strength. The matter-of-fact narrative is strong, passionate yet harsh at times, which enhances the impact of her writing, making her a powerful voice for self-acceptance and healing. After shedding light on her traumatic experiences and picking up the pieces of her shattered life while dealing with her deteriorating health, the reader realizes the importance of embracing a positive self-image. A captivating account of a troubled childhood told by a naturally remarkable narrator, the memoir is an insightful true story that will inspire anyone who has been through similar situations. The story of Not My Circus is one of perseverance and resilience in the face of hardship. For those who enjoy inspiring memoirs and are open-minded about LGBTQ issues, this book is a must-read!

Readers Favorite

“Not My Circus: Triumph Over Abuse, Trauma & Family Secrets – A Journey to Self-love, Pride and Remarkable Resilience” by Delicia Niami is a compelling nonfiction story that chronicles the life of the author from a traumatic childhood to a resilient adulthood. The book begins with Delicia’s harrowing experience of rape by a trusted acquaintance, Carlos, and recounts earlier sexual abuse by a man she regarded as a father figure. Her story covers a transformative European tour, battles with severe health issues, and the loss of close family members. Despite these early traumas, Delicia’s determination and strength shine through as she navigates various life challenges.

The narrative details Delicia’s escape from a tumultuous family situation in Baghdad to a life of independence and self-discovery in Los Angeles. She describes her struggles with societal judgments, her pursuit of justice for sexual assault victims, and her advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights. Delicia’s journey includes significant milestones such as graduating high school, securing her own apartment, and working at the National Gay and Lesbian News Magazine.

The book underscores the importance of resilience, the pursuit of justice, and the fight for LGBTQ+ acceptance.

I like the writing style of this book because the author did not hold back any secrets and revealed her faults, strengths, and weaknesses fairly. The writer is brutally honest, making it feel like a personal experience for the readers. With her vivid writing quality, Delicia portrays her fighting spirit and determination at every stage of her life, despite facing many challenges that could have made others give up. She overcame a disease that almost took her life by seeking therapy and maintaining a hopeful, determined outlook. She showed great courage by attending her mother’s killer’s trial and reading a letter to him despite her brother, Niles, refusing to attend. Delicia teaches us to be determined and courageous, with a positive attitude towards a better life for all.

In further reference to the author’s raw honesty in telling her story, one powerful example is her encounter with Carlos Romanal, who raped her while she was inebriated. Despite the trauma and the victim-blaming she faced from the authorities, Delicia’s determination to become an advocate for justice for other victims is a testament to her incredible inner strength. Her experience with Carlos was a pivotal moment that catalyzed her journey towards advocacy and justice, showcasing her transformation from victim to victor.

I have found no objective reason to dislike an aspect of this book. The book is also exceptionally well-edited, ensuring an easy and immersive reading experience. All in all, I’d rate the book 5 out of 5 stars.

The book is most suitable for readers who are interested in memoirs that delve into overcoming personal trauma and adversity. It resonates particularly with individuals seeking inspiration to navigate their own life challenges, as well as those interested in LGBTQ+ rights and social justice. Delicia’s experiences provide valuable insights into the struggles faced by LGBTQ+ individuals and the importance of community support and advocacy.

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